Old Wardour Castle (back View)

Cleaning sprees, tidying things up, making the house look nice,
dressing-up,wanting to look nice, flirting,being sexy, shopping.

Prover 1
Day 1
Shopping in London then party til midnight.
Day 2
Sorted out shoe cupboard!
Day 5
Dream : Shopping with M in supermarket where you had to sign in + take of all jewellery first!

Prover 3
Day 2
Woke up quite early (not sure of time) Washed up from last night & gave place good hoover. M & I were chatting about school uniforms this morning. Can't remember why- and I remembered my old boater with a shitty ribbon on it & a nasty brown blazer. Remembered why, X-word clue 'One's finest outfit' (6.4) Sunday best (what is was called at school)

Prover 2
Day -1
Had another dream early in the morning about M, who I was at college with. We were having fights, actually punching each other, but it was osrt of a bit sexy. He was still a young man not like he is now. We decided we were going to have sex but there were other people in the room. For some reason I didn't want to go upstairs because upstairs was 'cold'.
Day 3
This morning I felt reasonable energetic and I have cleaned the house from top to bottom.
Day 4
For some reason I had dressed up in high heels and a skirt for work. I wanted to look glamorous. People commented on how dressed up I was. I felt very grown up tripping around in my high heels. I don't usually go to work dressed like that I usually wear trousers. Strangely all the other woman at work were dressed up as well and we spent the first moments of the meeting talking about shoes. Not really like academics at all! When I ordered some books from the library I flirted with the librarian. Believe me I don't usually do this. He is over sixty. It seemed to work. He said he would look over my order and give it special attention.
Day 5
Frustrating day at work. The computer wasn't connecting to the internet so I couldn't get much work done. In the end I persuaded the computer man to come and fix it. I flirted with him as well. What am I turning into to? Mind you he fixed my computer.
Day 6
Felt I didn't want to go out today. I wanted to stay in and be 'homey' but I was meeting F for lunch. Nearly called the whole thing off. I have piles of washing to do and all sorts of things to organise because I am going to London tomorrow. Afterwards I went shopping not for anything in particular but because I had a bit of money to spend. At the moment I want to look smart. I tried on loads of clothes in Marks and Spencers but didn't really like any of them. I felt lumpy and bloated after lunch. Probably not a good time to go shopping. I had a headache too and I couldn't concentrate. I kept forgetting what I was supposed to be doing. In the end I bought an embroidered bra and some knickers.
When I got home I tried on lots of clothes as I am going to do a show in London tomorrow and I didn't know what to wear.

Prover 12
Day 1
By lunch time feel happy and calm, get lots done, little jobs and working out budget.

Prover 7
Day 1
Suddenly came over very anxious while out shopping.
Day 6
Again dreamt about behaving inappropriately but being oblivious to how strangely I was acting-dreamt that I was flirting with my friends son (16) + walking round in my underwear!
Day 10
Dreamt about having very naughty sex, which is unusual as I never dream about sex!
Day 12
Didn't have any dreams, as one of my friends turned up + as we hadn't seen each other for ages, we sat up talking.

Prover 10
Day 2
Had another arguement with M in the evening : he never seems to want to have sex with me unless I'm staying away from home for a while. I find it intensely frustrating and it is a constant thorn in my side as I feel that he doesn't want me and I am unattractive.
Day 10
Have some retail therapy in town as I don't want to go home and think about the clinic for as long as possible.
Day 12
I want to feel feminine and womanly, and at home within my body, instead of unworthy, fat, old and unattractive.
Day 13
I had a strange encounter with a Rasta on my way home which made me feel good, if a little perplexed. He introduced himself as Ebulan (which has to be the strangest name I've ever heard) and asked me what Tribe I was from-he seemed to like my answer of "my own tribe". It feels good to be called 'sister' by a Rasta, like a validation.

Prover 6
Day 3
Dream, quite erotic, plenty of sex, however with M and in our own bed. Lots of the colour black around.
Day 11
Ovulating, feeling quite lustful.

Prover 11
Day10
Retail (window shopping) therapy in the afternoon to take collective minds off the morning. I usually find the aimless wandering around shops quite frustrating but today it's a welcome diversion, even enjoy wasting time trying on clothes in the retro shops.